Handling Sensitive Issues - Confident Kids

HANDLING SENSITIVE ISSUES

Confidentiality

Confidentiality Agreement with the Kids. Confidentiality is one of the most important rules on the group rules list. Facilitators explain it to the children by saying that their group is meant to be a safe place where they can talk about whatever they want to talk about. But, in order to feel safe everyone needs to know that what they say in group will stay in group. This means that when they leave the group, they may not tell anyone else about personal, private things another child has shared. The kids will also means that he facilitators will not tell anyone what the kids share with them without their permission, and this includes their parents. We cannot be helpful to the kids if they fear we will turn around and talk to their parents about everything they say in the group.

Children’s Understanding of Confidentiality. The distinction between what is okay to talk about outside the group and what is to be kept confidential is very blurred at the elementary age level. Be prepared for children to tell their parents that they were told they could not tell Mom or Dad anything that happened in the group (even what they had for snack!). If you receive phone calls from parents about this issue, explain the importance of confidentiality to the group process, and then add the information in the following paragraph.

Confidentiality Agreement with the Parents. Explain to parents that although we respect and hold to the confidentiality agreement with the kids, program administrators will always find a way to get information that is of concern to them. This is usually not difficult to do. Most often when we ask the kids if we can talk to their parents about a particular issue, they are very happy to have us do so; some are even relieved. Even when they do not give us permission, we can usually find a way to get information to parents without violating confidentiality; such as making observations about their behavior. Parents can be assured that it is not our intent to hide things from them; but to make it as easy as possible for their kids to receive help.

Exceptions to Confidentiality. There are two exceptions to confidentiality that children and parents must understand:

- Reports of abusive behaviors. Any reports of abusive behavior against the kids will – by law in most states – be reported to authorities.
- Confidentiality among CK or KLM program leaders. If we are to give the families the best possible experience, facilitators must be free to share information about what happens in the groups each week. They can then be given guidance as to the best way to deal with the issues their group members raised. This sharing also allows the Program Administrator to note any information that seems out of the ordinary and needs follow-up.

Referrals

When families have problems that go beyond the scope of the support group program, they will need to be referred to other sources for help. If your church does not have an approved list of counselors and/or agencies, build one of your own. Include resources such as the following on your list:

Counselors and counseling agencies that include one or more counselors who specialize in working with child and/or family therapy; AND include a sliding scale fee structure.
Lawyers and legal aid services to assist parents with legal issues.
Community resources for specialized issues such as chemical dependency treatment, ADD diagnosis and treatment, shelters for women and children, etc.
Local meetings of AA, Al-Anon, and other 12 step groups.
Other helping professionals for issues common to families in your community.

Reporting Abuse

In most states, church workers are required by law to report statements of abuse, or suspected abuse. Be sure the entire program staff knows in advance signs of abuse and the proper procedures for making reports. You may consider inviting a social worker or representative from Child Protective Services to train your staff in this area.

Written Policy. Many churches now have church-wide written policies for procedure in handling sensitive issues. If your church does NOT have written policies regarding reporting abuse encourage the church leadership to do so before beginning a CK or KLM program.

Preventing Legal Problems

It is not likely that your church will encounter any legal difficulties from your CK or KLM program. However, you can safeguard against this possibility by giving attention to the following three issues:

Have parents sign a release form. The purpose of this form is to make it clear to parents that they are attending a support group – not a therapy group. Most courts will recognize that support groups are peer led groups, and do not fall into the same legal liabilities as professionally led therapy groups. A sample parent release form is included in the curriculum.
Know when and how to report abusive behaviors. Never act alone in reporting abuse. This decision should be made in consultation with the child’s facilitator, the CK or KLM Program Administrator, and any other pastors/counselors acting as supervisors to your program. The main point to emphasize here is the need for all leaders to know the proper procedure to follow in your church or organization before the issue actually comes up. Don’t wait until you are in a crisis situation to stipulate this procedure!
Screen your KLM facilitators carefully. This is an important responsibility of the Program Administrator. The screening process begins with carefully reviewing the applications filled out by potential facilitators. Many churches now require background checks before anyone can work with children in their programs.