Starting a Kids Like Me Program

STARTING A KIDS LIKE ME PROGRAM

NOTE: The following information is also contained in the Upfront Pages of the KLM Preface/Administrator’s Guide.

Before you begin, answer the following questions:

Target Audience?

Who do you want to reach with your program? Are you targeting:

Children living with parents with substance abuse disorders only?
Children of the parents in your recovery ministry, no matter what their recovery issues might be?
High stress families in general?
Children in your church only? Children in the community only? Both?
Families who have attended Confident Kids groups in the past?

Your answer to this question will affect how you organize, publicize, staff, and train leaders for your program.

Closed or Open Group?

One of the biggest differences between the Confident Kids program and Kids Like Me! is the issue of closed versus open groups. The difference is:

Closed Groups:

Closed groups are those in which families must register their children into the group for a specified period of time and make a commitment to attend consistently. No new children are added after the first or second week of the current session.

Advantages: In closed groups, each session builds on the material presented in the session before, making it possible to present the material in a comprehensive way. Since no new children are added to the group, the trust level deepens over the course of the unit. Also, since children are registered into the program, the number of children in the groups at any one time is easily controlled, assuring that the facilitator:child ratio is strictly maintained. (In Confident Kids groups, this ratio is 1:4.)

Disadvantages: The main disadvantage is that families must wait to join a group until a new unit begins, which may take up to several months. This is difficult when a family wanting to join the group is facing a crisis and they are very much in need of the support now.

Open Groups:

Open groups are those in which children may come at any time, with no need to register in advance.

Advantages. The most obvious advantage is that the support group is immediately available to children, and the family does not have to make a commitment for an extended period of time. In open groups, the curriculum topic changes each week so even those who come sporadically are able to benefit from the session.

Disadvantages. It is more difficult to build trust in a group when children are not committed for a specified time. Each time a new child enters the group the trust level changes. It is also hard to maintain the proper facilitator:child ratio when it is not known how many children will show up each week.

The Kids Like Me! program was written in an open group format. This makes it more responsive to the needs of recovery ministries that want to provide a children’s program every week for whoever may show up that week. However, it would certainly be an effective closed group, too. The question of whether to offer the program as an open or closed group is left to the discretion of the program administrators running each program.

Chain of Command?

Working with this population of children/families may raise problems that need to be dealt with, such as reporting abusive behavior. In that eventuality, all program staff need to know what procedures they are to follow to handle it appropriately. Don’t wait until something happens to deal with this issue! Clarify the chain of command that is required by your church before you begin a Kids Like Me! program.

A recommended chain of command is as follows:

Program facilitators report to the:

Kids Like Me! Administrator, who reports to a:
- Church Pastoral Staff Member over the KLM program (i.e., a Recovery Pastor, Church Counselor, Children’s Pastor), who reports to the:
  - Senior Pastor/Church Board
    Be sure to have your church’s chain of command in writing and clearly communicate it to all program staff. The important issue is that all program leaders have a clear procedure for handling sensitive problems that may arise.

Many churches are concerned that beginning a support group for children will be a further drain on their already over-tapped leadership pool. However, experience has taught us that a support group program for children often attracts new leaders. Follow these guidelines as you recruit:

Leadership Characteristics and Commitments:

Successful KLM leaders exhibit the following characteristics:

A deep love for children.
A high degree of responsibility and dependability.
A special concern for hurting children.
Although not required, leaders who have personally experienced living in a family with an alcoholic or addicted parent, or other painful childhood issues, tend to have a level of understanding and sensitivity that is helpful in the Kids Like Me! program.
Although not required, some past experience in working with children in group or class settings is also helpful.

In addition, successful leaders must be committed to the following three principles:

Consistency of Physical and Emotional Presence. Leaders must be totally committed to being there each week, both physically and emotionally. This is crucial when working with children who have been hurt by trusted adults in their lives.
Being nonjudgmental. Leaders must realize that children may reveal family secrets or behave in ways that go against their own personal value system. Although leaders do not have to condone these issues, they must realize that unconditional love and acceptance is important to the healing process.
Respecting confidentiality. Kids Like Me! leaders must realize they will be called upon to use wisdom and discretion as children reveal details of their lives. In most cases, they must be able to keep what children say in the group setting confidential, with a few notable exceptions. See Handling Sensitive Issues (below) for more information on this vital subject.

The Leadership Team:

The Program Administrator. This person is the overseer of the entire program. Ideally, this is a paid staff member or someone with easy access to the administrative resources of the organization (i.e., office equipment, publicity vehicles, scheduling and room allocations, knowledge of potential volunteers, etc.). The responsibilities of the Program Administrator include:

- Coordinating with the supervising Pastoral Staff Member and other Recovery Ministry Leaders to set the time and place for the meetings.
- Recruiting, training and caring for the program facilitators.
- Publicity.
- Maintaining records.
- Securing all needed supplies.
- Evaluation and follow-up.

Program Facilitators. The facilitators work directly with the children. One facilitator for every four to five children is needed. Using the KLM curriculum, these facilitators conduct the meetings each week.

Training:

Stage One: Orientation. Interested people are invited to a “no-obligation” orientation. This gives both the potential leaders and the program administrator a chance to explore whether this ministry will be a good match for both. This meeting generally is conducted as follows:

Get acquainted. Participants share their backgrounds and why they are interested in the Kids Like Me! program.
Overview of Kids Like Me!. Includes program goals, qualifications of leaders, and a look at the curriculum and meeting format.
Details of the Facilitator Commitment. Expectations and the importance of follow through once a commitment is made are discussed.
Distribute Facilitator Applications. Appendix C contains a sample application. For legal reasons, it is important to have an application on file for every facilitator. Participants can fill them out at home and return them before the next training session, should they decide to continue.

Stage Two: Basic Training. Once the applications have been reviewed and the team chosen, the basic training can begin. Kids Like Me! facilitators are trained in the following areas:

De-briefing Sessions. Debrief each of the sessions as soon as possible. We recommend a short meeting for this purpose after each session. If this is too late in the evening, gather half an hour before each session begins. If that is not possible either, schedule a debriefing meeting at a convenient time at least every two weeks. Use this time to share what has been happening in the groups, celebrate successes, solve problems, plan for future meetings, and pray.
Enrichment Sessions. Approximately once each quarter, hold a special training session to focus on an issue of concern. This could be a further discussion of discipline methods, additional information on one of the life skills contained in the curriculum (i.e., an in-depth look at anger management), or a special speaker to address an issue of concern (i.e., a local educator to talk about Learning Disabilities, an addiction specialist to discuss methodology for working with children, or a representative from Children’s Services to discuss signs of and proper reporting procedures of abuse).
Team Building Events. Plan times just to relax and have fun together! Quarterly pot luck dinners or game nights will do a lot to increase the bonding of your team. And remember, the more bonded your team is, the more successful your Kids Like Me! program will be – guaranteed.